Monday, July 27, 2015

In Search of Light

I haven't been proud of myself recently-- in more ways than one. I have numerous nightmares of words that should have been said and those that shouldn't have been, of things I could've done better and of circumstances I shouldn't have been entangled with. The world has its funny ways of making you feel inadequate-- the kind that kills. Age old wisdom has taught me to be selective with the things I take in from the world and time has taught me to be kind with the words I say to myself and yet it's still a struggle to hush all self-conceived devils, who are equally as stubborn as I. 

So I ran to the One I always run to every time I search for light--- never fails.  :)

"Sovereign in the mountain air. Sovereign on the ocean floor. With me in the calm. With me in the storm. In your everlasting arms, all the pieces of my life. All my hopes. All I need. All my dreams. All my fears. Whatever comes my way, I will trust You."

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Take me somewhere beautiful--- some place with a vast blue sky and luscious greens. 
Tell me something beautiful--- words of hope and peace. 
Give me something beautiful--- warmth and love. 

Thursday, April 02, 2015

I am the Love who Stays

Holy Week 2013, she left without warning. I was on a bus to Pangasinan-countless kilometers away from the place, I call home. I remember feeling on a high on that bus. For the first time in a long time, I felt free—from a love that stung so hard it almost tore me apart. Then I got her call. There was nothing on the other line but anger. Pop! There went my then rare happy bubble.

Took a whole lot of pleading for her to come back. Looking back, I couldn’t help but ask, why she had to take so much of me for a mistake I wasn’t even a part of—but my young heart didn’t mind.

Holy Week 2014, he left without warning. This wasn’t the first--of him leaving. But this was the worst. And with my countless recollection of him and her leaving, I can’t remember a moment I feared more than this. I knew bad days have started coming. But it wasn’t the bad days that shook me. I’ve grown resilient to the bad. She hasn’t. The bad broke her bad. That. Broke. Me. Bad.

He left without warning. I couldn’t believe he did. I didn’t want to believe he did. The pain was a slap on my face--the kind that stings because it came by extreme surprise. The kind that stings even after the physical pain have long worn out. I was caught off guard. And it took a long time to regain my balance.

It has been the biggest fight of our lives since. And I don’t see it being over soon. Maybe, not ever.

Holy Week 2015. She’s leaving again. Says she wants to run away. Says she needs the break. Won’t say where she’s going. Won’t say when she’s coming back or if she’s coming back.  This sick carousel is getting kinda old now.

They say the apple won’t fall far from the tree. I say for someone born to two people who’ve mastered the art of leaving through the years, I am one peculiar offspring--because I have proven in more ways than one, I’m never the one who just leaves. I am the love who stays.

They can come and go, if it pleases them. I won’t hold them back even if it takes so much of me each time. Simply because I am the love who stays. Simply because I’ll always be the love who stays.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Art Fair PH 2015

This has been an annual happy thing. :) 

Almost didn't make it to this year's Art Fair PH at The Link, Ayala. Last year's set was too awesome I waited a year for moooore. Watched Beauty and Beast The Musical at the Cultural Center of the Philippines on the last day of Art Fair PH. Didn't know what time we'll finish dinner after watching. Almost resigned to thinking I won't be able to make it to the fair this year. Good thing, the musical finished earlier than I expected and we had early dinner. Rushed to Makati from Macapagal immediately after.

Worth the drive, I guess. And the aching feet (wore heels because I came from watching a musical in CCP!). But I still find last year's set better than this year's. I guess it was because I adore mixed media and this year's set are predominantly 2D. Don't get me wrong, I adore paintings. And I wish to bombard my future home with classic, peculiar and story-filled paintings. But there's something about mixed media that really hits the core in me.

This piece reminded me of the cute Korean bun I can no longer fashion.

The calming sea of clouds. I'd love to have these in my bedroom please.

Today, I learned about Geometric abstraction and excavated art!

Can't wait for next year's Art Fair PH!

Saturday, January 03, 2015


For a moment you were a firework--too much of a sight to behold, too loud to be ignored. Quite frankly, I don't want you to be a firework; because as with a lot of glamorous things, they're shortlived. I don't want this to be shortlived. 

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