Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Power Team

Sitting inside the board room today and privileged to have had a glimpse of how the Big Minds in my current organization cultivate healthy personal relationships while in the process of working professionally (and productively) as a TEAM reminded me of us-- then.

You were my POWER TEAM- the group of people with whom I know any shared ENDEAVOR/VISION/DREAM can be made possible. We were far from perfect but, TOGETHER, we were INDESTRUCTIBLE.

I know we've stepped foot towards different industries and far bigger organizations with greater responsibilities. Eventually, we'll be part of other POWER TEAMS-- separately-- BUT you will always be special. You were my first. (ANSAVEH? hihi) and you are IRREPLACEABLE.

So this is me saying, I miss you. Us. During our best and worst. During the moments of strength and weaknesses--through all the controversies. Aaand I hope to see you ALL soooon! Please?

Monday, July 29, 2013

Late Bloomer

Let me give you reasons why I was never a heavy drinker. First of all, can we just freakin' admit that it doesn't even taste good? We consume food (or drinks) for two reasons --either is nourishes us or it delights us. I bet you can go beer-tasting all over the world and NOT find beer that is pleasant to the tongue NOR to the stomach. 

Second, it does horror to the skin. The rare times I succumb to drinking alcohol, my skin ALWAYS feels rough and dry. There are even times I have rashes all over that are undeniably itchy and ugly. Need I say more?

But moving beyond the superficial, the real reason why I'm a cautious drinker is because I'm scared of what I'll do when I'm completely drunk (if it'll ever happen). My control freak self can't stand the thought of me recklessly being unapologetically me. But I have to admit, my Curious self is dying to know what if. 

But screw all this over-thinking-about-drinking-monologue and just driiiiiink-- the exact same reason why I'm giving alcohol a chance--- in the hopes that it'll help loosen me up a little...more. 

Below are big ass caramel beers from Rue Bourbon in Eastwood. It sure ain't your ordinary bitter beer. I even got to finish half of a big ass beer mug. So this is me saying, I'm braving the uncertainty and chasing the risk of running loose.  And if alcohol comes with a price-- of horror stories that we wish to be untold after being told-- let them spring from my cup and let the horror stories be mine. 

Help me improve my alcohol tolerance, anyone? :P

Of Wolverine and Princess Syndrome

Watched Wolverine with Kain Club in Eastwood Citywalk 2 Cinemas last Saturday. I'm not really a Marvel fan so I probably wouldn't watch the film if not for friendship. HAHA. Worth the long cab ride back and forth Eastwood though.

Towards the end, however, amidst the good quality of cinematography, I couldn't help but feel that it's just another awkward-guy-turned-awesome when he found a new meaning of life in saving a helpless princess with a pretty face. Ugh. Haven't we reached the age of gender equality yet? Why do us girls have to be consistently saved from the monsters created by the same brilliant minds who conjured heroism and every other honorable thing that came along with it? Why do boys always end up doing the saving--being brave and valiant, not to mention overly-glorified? Why can't women be portrayed as human beings who maybe as vulnerable but can manage to fight and win their own battles--because I tell you, we fight hard and we fight to win!

And then men wonder why most girls have the so called 'princess syndrome'? Ridiculous.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

When Lightning Strikes

Dad and I had a fight.

We've been in this dragging fiasco since the day he chose to dishonor his covenant with Mama. I didn't want to believe he could do such a horrible mistake. I always thought highly of him and I fought real hard to combat the poisonous whispers surrounding our broken family--until the harsh truth bit me in the flesh.

I did my best to win him back even if it felt wrong down to the core---I've always believed he was that one man I never had to win.  I was terribly wrong---even if I really wanted to hate him for being some bad ass mongrel I could no longer recognize. But I had to win him back for Mama who was crumbling into pieces. I had to win him back because that's what family is all about--not turning your backs on them even if they already did, right?

The past half a year has been a series of unfortunate events--unfortunate being a total understatement. Heartbreaking, more of. Repeatedly and consistently at that. But I was told to not let the hurt cling unto the soul and just let forgiveness crack in light to the weary heart.

So I caved in. I tried to focus on the good-- the little remnants that gave me hope-- no matter how rare. I tried to forgive. As if something as massive as that could be surmountable in a flash. As if pressing restart was as simple as batting the eyelash. As if it could be bright and sunny instantaneously after a typhoon raged havoc all over town. But I tried--at least, to hold it in.

Until today, when he kept on provoking the raging storm I've managed to hush inside. I might have struck like lightning because I know I hit right to the core. That's just one of the things I'm good at, if not the only thing I'm good at--picking the right words. Short but sweet deadly.

And I'm sorry, Dy BUT I'm not sorry. I had to say those words out loud. Because I wanted you to hear them badly. From me. For the truth hurts AND you've been raging recklessly all over--damning the consequences your actions entailed.

I will never dishonor you. I will never disrespect you. I will always love you. Even now that you're being so difficult. I'm far from indestructible. I'm far from perfect. BUT I'm trying. Please stop making it all the more difficult. I'm tired of all the drama.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Some Pristine Paradise

I left half of my heart in Puerto Prinsesa last April. It's a shame when I realized how little I know about our tropical islands. And since then, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to explore more.

It's funny how one trip can change the way you see the world (or life in general). It's amazing how ridiculously beautiful the Pearl of the Orient Seas is--to the point that it drives me to work harder because really, our country does not deserve to remain that of a THIRD WORLD.

I hope with the whole of my fragile heart, that in my own little ways, I've already started contributing to our nation's progress. And I pledge, with my educated mind, to do more.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Yesterday, BIG BOSS asked if I would be interested to work with him in the two new departments we're building. I told him he can position me anywhere. He says I should know what I want. I told him anywhere in ops is fine with me.

It got me thinking the whole afternoon though--what do I really want? Where do I see myself in 5 years?

The thing is UP Engg taught me that I do not need position or power to make a difference. Plant me anywhere, I swear, I'll find ways to bloom. Lead me anywhere and I will be in active pursuit of excellence. I'm happy with what I'm doing right now--just the right mix of stress, healthy enough to constantly push me to do better but not so much to consume who I am. I'm working to learn and I'm just happy that I get to learn a lot on the corporate floor.

Makes me wonder though, am I not shooting high enough? Am I just being idealistic and naive? Do I need to reassess my career path?

Maybe it's about time to do my five year plan.

Monday, July 22, 2013

FOOD: Tokyo Yakiniku

Discovered this quaint Japanese Restaurant hidden along Makati Avenue. If Mitsuyado Seimen is the house of Tsukemen, Tokyo Yakiniku is definitely the house for the best Yakiniku (Japanese Barbeque)!

We we're not supposed to eat anything heavy because Jill and I were just cooling down after a late night jog at Rockwell when we bumped into this restaurant! We couldn't resist not trying it out though. So we entered the newly-discovered haven in dugyot jogging clothes, unmindful of how all the other customers are Japanese men in their corporate attires. hihi.

Of course, we ordered yakiniku--which was their specialty- and salted seaweed and some alcoholic beverage that was a little too much for the non-alcoholic me.

Definitely coming back for more. :)

FOOD: Park and Bargain

Bumped into a night market on our way home after a jog at Rockwell. Park and Bargain is beside the new A.venue mall along Makati Avenue. Recently, night markets have started thriving in the metro. There's literally one night market in any area in megaManila! Blame the Filipinos' innate love for cheap food and good bargains. 

We chose not to eat here though. There wasn't much of food choices yet. Took photos instead. :)

Saturday, July 20, 2013

I'm not a good judge of character for the simple reason that I don't judge. I'd rather try to understand-- because there's something more thrilling and meaningful in seeing the world in someone else's eyes than forcing it to live by your acquired standards.

I also cringe by the thought of stereotypes. Because the human mind and heart is so immensely powerful to just be boxed in a label conjured by the Shallow.

Living by this moral compass helps me understand, that though I look at the world with positive eyes, it won't gaze back with the same kindness ALL the time--not even most of the time. I'm faaar from indestructible but I try my best to rise above recklessly thought of criticisms and misfit judgments.

So pardon me if I seem to act with arrogance ignoring voices that are unmindful of how they could powerfully build and destroy. I do my best to just focus on that little voice that matter--my heart.

Thread the road your heart desires and you will never be lost.   

Saturday, July 13, 2013

To Sio Mai Love

Yesterday, Mama made lambing and asked if I could stay with her at home today. She says she's feeling like she's gonna be sick. I was supposed to go to a travel fair with a friend in the morning, spend 4 good hours in Ace Water Spa and end the night at a salon to have my hair and nails done. I cancelled. Daughter duties first.

So I spent the whole morning inside her room. She was sleeping. I was indulging in my favorite worship songs, browsing through non-fiction reads and lost in my thoughts when she woke up and said "Princess, I'm hungry".

So I dragged my lazy butt off the lazy boy. The help has just started cooking rice. I searched the fridge for something I can cook. And boy my eyes were filled with delight when I saw a bag full of siomai! :) Win-win!
Okay, I basically just steamed those ready-to-cook pork wonders BUUUUT that still counts as cooking!!!!

I sliced fruits and scooped brown rice onto my favorite Japanese plate. Then proudly handed over my labor of love to the Queen of our household. And I wish I could tell you her first words were "Delicious" or "Awesome" or "Well done" (my boss' favorite phrase everytime I senda deliverable hihi *wink*). She said, "Bangus. I want bangus."

Waaaah. My proud heart was slowly breaking down to pieces. And my brain was thinking thoughts of how steamed bangus or fried bangus was way beyond my newly discovered instant cooking powers. But my unconquerable soul, wouldn't stop without giving it a try.

So I went back to the kitchen and looked for that dreaded bangus. The help said Mama wanted it steamed. Just steamed. Kind of cheered my bruised ego up a little thinking steam is simple I can deal with a little steam. Not.

I didn't know how to wash the fish and I swear, it was staring me in the eye whole time! So as I was figuring out a way to defrost it a bit faster, I found myself whispering "I know how bad this looks like but I swear I wasn't the one who killed you. In fact, I'm trying to give value add to your existence by transforming you into something edible. How am I gonna do that? I'll figure that out, one step at a time." --- Oh the sound of desperation.

I was starting to lose my patience when I couldn't find the right cooking pot to steam the fish in. 10 minutes and 5 pots after I found myself screaming "Mr. Big Eye, why'd you have to be soooo big? Uuugh". And then I bet out of pity, the Lord breathed upon me his Holy Wisdom ---"Tanga. Pwede mo naman kasi hiwain".

I split it to half because apparently it wasn't as easy to slice the fish as it looks like in cooking shows. :((

The billion dollar question in all my attempts at cooking is-- "Luto na kaya to?". Well today, at least with this bangus, I didn't have to ask. Because 20 minutes later, all the water in my pot had evaporated and the help rushed into the kitchen screaming "Ate, amoy sunog na yan!".

I took pictures of my cooking escapade but I  won't post it here to save what's left of my dignity. HAHA. But someday soon, I'm gonna post pictures of awesomely cooked meals by yours truly AND I swear the wait is gonna be worth it. Chos.

Happy Saturday. :)

Light and Love, 
Ahjh :*

Of Light and Darkness

DARKNESS is the absence of LIGHT. Always. Never the other way around. LIGHT is LIGHT-- regardless of the existence of darkness.

The same way that EVIL is the absence of GOOD. But GOOD doesn't necessarily mean the absence of EVIL. GOOD is GOOD-- regardless, and ironically, because of the existence of EVIL.

Man is educated to cultivate GOOD and extinguish EVIL. And it's just ironic and so damn heartbreaking when man finds himself doing EVIL for the sake of trying his best to be good.

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

J Cubed :)

Pen is leaving for Turkey later. For good.

And I dreaded this day for the longest time. Ironically, tonight I feel a bit excited for her. Don't get me wrong, I don't look forward to her leaving the country. Of course I want her to stay. I will miss our spontaneous weekly escapades. I will miss our food trips, our shopping sprees, our salon pamper time, and late night movie/coffee dates in Greenhills or Greenbelt.  I even envisioned our kids to grow up together--our families having picnic and out of town trips and whatnots. Oh you get the pretty picture!  I will miss her tons BUUUT I'm all for what makes her happy. So if her happiness meant going to the farther side of the world, she can go wherever her heart desires and I will, by all means, support her. :-)

Looking forward to travelling to Turkey to see her either later this year or early next year. :) I hope the schedule permits.

Light and Love, 
Ahjh :*

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