As children, we look up to our parents like they were the real superheroes of our small world. When we grow up, we want to be like them- perfect and really nice.
But when we grow older, we start to take notice of their imperfections. We start to realize that they are real people with real flaws and shortcomings.
At first, it makes you hate them.
Eventually, you resign to accept their quirks thinking you can't change them. But when you grow wiser, you develop a complete understanding of who they are, where they've been, what they do, how and why they do the things they do.
Woke up this morning, hearing my parents bickering. Familiar issues rise up the surface. Somehow, in the midst of their squabble, I've been dragged into the issue without doing anything.
I hated them for that. I hated them for thinking that way. I hated them for pointing fingers BUT more because all their fingers pointed to me.
I've been asking GOD why they had to be like that. I guess I already know why. I guess I also know they wouldn't change anymore. But it still hurts. AND a lot of times, I still pray they wouldn't do some of the things they do.
Recently, mom went overboard and I wasn't able to control myself. For days, I couldn't get myself into talking to her. I couldn't even look at her. I didn't even want to go home! I was madly hurt, I needed the space.
Pero hindi ko din natiis.
I guess we would never get to hate them more than we love them. And at the end of the day, no matter how old we become, our parents will always act as the parents that they have been since the day we were born.