Monday, April 12, 2010

Sometimes I forget how much different we are from each other. Sometimes, I hate you for not doing the things I would have done if I were in your shoes. But then again, I hate myself for hating you for that same stupid reason.

I can always say that emotions are irrational. That anger is an initial response that I do not intend to feel. That hating you is beyond my control. But I don't want to be a captive of my emotions anymore.

Most of the time, I feel torn. Because I don't want to be a selfish bitch, who acts merely upon her emotions. But I don't want to be a selfless doormat that you can step on either. BUT it's so hard to not cross the line sometimes. Oops, okay, most of the time.


Then again, it doesn't make me love you less. In fact, it makes me realize how much I love you more.

My Sister's Keeper

I've just finished watching this movie a few minutes ago. I am overwhelmed. With Love. With Life. With Death. With Family.

I feel for Sara Fitzgerald (Cameron), the fighter mom in the movie. I know how it feels to not want to stop fighting for the people you love. I know how it feels to always want to win the battles for them-every single day. I know how it feels to not want to stop. To not be able to let go and simply let them be. All because you love them too much.

I feel for Anna Fitzgerald, the younger sister. I know how it feels to go against the world to fulfill one's promise out of love. I know how it feels to do things that you yourself do not want to do but had to do for love's sake.

I feel for Jesse, the older brother who ignored his needs for Kate's. I know how it feels to hurt, to have needs and not cater to them because you think the one you love has more important needs. I know how it feels to back off. To not say anything even when it kills you. I feel for Brian, the father who spoils his kids. Who may not seem to fight for life as much as Sara did but who loves equally deeply just the same.

Love brings out the best and the worst in people. It enriches or destroys life. It's wonderful and daunting at the same time.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

People never change, not even for the ones we love. But that's not always a bad thing.
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