Friday, December 25, 2009

The right one is supposed to make all your doubts and fears disappear. The right one is supposed to bring out the best in you. The right one is supposed to make your every breathing moment bliss. NOT!

There's this couple who've been madly in love with each other. They've been through hell and back. They've overcome struggles far greater than any other typical couple could have gone through.There was no question that they were destined for each other (if there really is such a thing called destiny).

One day, the girl found out that the guy was watching him sleep the whole night. Cheesy much? The girl thought so too. But after days of catching her guy, simply just watching her sleep, she didn't fall for the cheesy lines anymore. The guy blurted out that he couldn't stand her all-nighter snoring.

They've been sleeping together for months and the girl didn't want to believe she snores until her next door roomie told her she's snoring real loudly every night and her guy sneaks out(when she's in deep slumber), settles on the couch, and then sneaks back in their room before she wakes up so she'd barely notice. 

When we find the "could be right one", we cloud ourselves with the illusion that they're GOD's perfect little creatures made solely for us. We believe that they could be everything we want and more. But when reality hits us in the face, when imperfections and conflicts start to surface, we inevitably ignore them until we couldn't ignore them anymore.

He didn't want to hurt her feelings. He didn't want to tell her she's one of those girls who are sawing logs* when they sleep. He didn't want her to know he couldn't sleep beside her. He did his best until he couldn't do it anymore.

See, relationships are difficult. People are dysfunctional. We each have our own quirks and abnormalities that other people won't be able to stand. Even the most patient ones break down once they reach their limit.

When the imperfections and conflicts surface, you can bear it for the one you love. Other people could bear it in the name of love for you. But one way or another it'll eat us all up until we couldn't take anymore.

How did they go about the situation? Wax Ear Plugs. She snores. They can try all the medicines and treatments available but they won't be able to change the fact that she snores. So they bought wax ear plugs. They're safe and reliable. He can snuggle her real close and not hear a thing. Or at least  hear her snores at a bearable noise level.

No, the right one will never be able to take away your quirks and abnormalities. The right one will never be able to bear your imperfections all the time. But the right one will help you find wax ear plugs for both your different kinds of unbearable snores. =))

We were having Christmas lunch today and mom was giving her usual shots of wisdom when they started picking on me -my room, my mess, my studies, my poor eating habits,my late night commitments and relationships. She went on and on about how much supportive she is with my current relationship then occasional insights about men, love and commitment. Yadayadayada. Until she said "kailangan mahal mo talaga. kasi you'll go through hell and back but love will always be good enough reason to stay. Tignan mo yoong daddy mo, kung hindi ko lang yan mahal matagal ko nang iniwan yan..."

Wah. I used to hate it when my parents become cheesy. But seeing them today and knowing and feeling the truth in what ma was saying, I couldn't help but feel proud and inexplicably happy for them. I know my parents are far from perfect. They've had those days when they didn't think we'd make it as a family. Numerous times, mom left daddy and stayed at nanay's house. Numerous times, they'd called it quits. But here we are, celebrating love and Christmas as one family. 

Friday, November 20, 2009

The Song of the Old; The Wisdom of the Young

Today is one of the few days I exerted effort to wake up early in the morning. I have classes from 1 to 5:30 in the afternoon, after which I have articles to work on `til late at night, so I have to accomplish my other tasks before lunch or else, I won't be able to them anymore.Or at least not today.

I was maximizing my time in the shower, when I heard a loud man's voice from outside the house. Yeah, he was that loud! He was singing an old Tagalog kundiman, of which lyrics I totally appreciated while listening to him sing. He has rather good voice for a random street singer but sound reverberates old age as well.

After a few minutes, I heard him sing a more familiar song. It was relatively modern and too upbeat for his voice but he managed to sing it decently as well. I heard a sound of coins dropping on the street and an increasing number of pair of hands clapping in disbelief and a tinge of amazement. I would have gone to the window and have a better view of what's happening, but that would require me to put a halt to my only relaxing ritual before I start another busy day. But I couldn't help but feel moved when I heard him say "Kakanta ako hangga't buhay pa ko".

Wow. That's passion and hope out loud! Wisdom in its humblest form. And that moment it hit me. How the young despise their youth for all the uncertainties of what life has to offer, the confusion on which dreams to pursue, the drama of relationships, the surge of all types of emotions, the rush of unsustainable passion, and the pressure of proving himself to the world. And how the old despise old age for the numerous mistakes he can no longer undo , the opportunities missed, the battles lost, the dreams they turned their backs into, and the passion that burned out. Yet outside my home, there's this skinny old stranger with ragged clothes and dirty wrinkled skin totally contented with where he is and happy with himself singing la la la. 

Lord, I pray that I learn to take things slow. Breathe in life and live with least regret. Appreciate the truths, carefully unraveling in Your time and be totally at peace with myself.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

In Full Bloom

I love flowers. They breathe life, beauty, hope and faith.
I have always been sensitive when it comes to what other people think of me. My sensitivity sometimes goes way beyond paranoia. It’s something I’ve never grown over. Call it pride. Call it trauma. Some skeletons in my closet have stuck real hard over the years. 

But I have learned to screw the thoughts and live with what I believe in. I have learned to have faith on myself. And the world around me has helped me build a better image of my being. I think I’ve matured and healed enough to be able to look into other people’s eyes, see myself from there, be genuinely delighted with what I see and believe that the I totally deserve the appreciation they give me credit for. But sometimes, when a little prick touches that soft spot within, my whole world doesn’t collapse but I still break into little pieces inside.

But I see flowers and get the inspiration I totally need. Today, I may not be in full bloom but I have faith that someday, I will be. If not tomorrow, the day after, or two days after or three days after that. Nonetheless, I will not stop believing. And every time, I'll feel a little low, I will just look at a flower and remind myself that I will reach my full bloom again, soon.♥

Thanks, friends! ILY all! I owe you this confidence and love for self.

And to the person who almost ruined my afternoon, you haven't seen the best of me yet. Wait and see. As much as I hate you, I owe you still. For if not for that belittle-ing gesture you did today, I wouldn't have realized how much I've learned to appreciate myself thru time. 

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