Saturday, March 31, 2018

Powering through Miracles

In our universe of MA and PA (i.e. walang MAlay at walang PAkialam. Pweds din MAkaPAsa wagas.) it feels exhausting to be action-oriented. For someone who promised herself to be in perpetual active pursuit of progress and to always choose to act if it meant adding value to someone else's life, I often find myself drained and spiteful.

And however much I know that my human intellect can never comprehend the extent of the goodness of the Almighty's will, my inquisitive self have often asked, "Abba, why me?". Sometimes, "Abba, why me again?" even. And in the mundane, He, who is all-knowing, never fails to whisper, "Just because, Darling."

Last Monday, I was blessed to have been able to attend Fr. Dave Concepcion's Who Will Fix The Roof Recollection in San Carlos Pastoral Formation Complex. Fr. Dave spoke about how most of us are always asking for miracles but only a rarity of us are willing to act to make them happen.

GOD does not need Jesus Christ to become man again to perform miracles. His Divine power is sufficient enough to bless mankind through mankind. And while we are consistently reminded to always act on our faith and power through our own miracles, it shouldn't be that we only work towards our own miracles. The bigger blessing lies in actively contributing to someone else's miracle coming through.

So tonight I pray that my heart be pure enough to find delight, instead of spite, in working for other peoples' miracles. That I'll always remain grounded knowing that all these is not my doing but of the Spirit that is strong in me. And that the joy of knowing that the Spirit being alive in me is in itself a miracle would be enough for me to dust my feet, breathe, and find renewed strength to continually power through someone else’s miracles for the rest of my life.

Plus est en vous. Ad Astra!

Sunday, February 05, 2017

It was a good day. The sun is up and the wind is strong. The sound of the waves is calming and the sight of the greens is naturally captivating.

I was finding my way back to the car--to find refuge for the cold, when I got distracted by a flock of birds. Enticed by their presence, I chased one after the other. My gullible self got lost in the moment--even went as far as feeding them.

T'was fun. I threw the crumbs and they fed on them. I threw some more and they got closer. It's amazing how you give so little and yet get so much in return. Or how trivial things get through your heart and lit you up. Instantaneously, at that.

When you're happy as a fool, you let it take you over. Because who doesn't want happy? And who, in the right mind, would not welcome happy with open arms?

But more and more pidgeons came. They got closer and closer. And instantaneously as always, my brain switched from blissful to careful. What if they bite? The flock grew so big, it got scaryyyy. What if they attack?

Panic. Hits me slowly and then comes rushing all at once. It's crazyyy. I'm crazyyyy (proven hypothesis in numerous self-designed social experiments hahahaha). So I ruined the moment. And I ran away. Like a wimpy kid, I run. Four out five times, I run.

And I've been running away. Because I think I have the luxury of time. Because I think I'll never run out of chances. Because I have a littany of excuses. But I'm tired of running away. Oh good God, give me something to run towards. And with eyes closed and fears shunned, I shall run towards. It's time. :D

Thursday, August 11, 2016

It's amazing how reminders come to us via the Mundane. Tonight's message was from a song I delightfully stumbled upon in Spotify.

"Love like I'm not scared. 
Give when it's not fair.
Live life for another.
Take time for a brother.
Fight for the weak ones. 
Speak out for freedom.
Find faith in the battle.
Stand tall but above it all.
Fix my eyes on You"

Saturday, May 14, 2016


You have no idea how magnificent your brilliance stand in stark contrast against the rest of my universe. My only regret was that I was too distracted with a handful other irrelevant pursuits that I failed to acknowledge it sooner. 

I look at you and I see all the things we could be. At the same time, all the things we are not. It's unfortunate how something so beautiful can be as sad. 

My heart sings of nothing but good things and happiness for you--- with or without me in it. But for now, I'll keep my distance because the love from my heart radiates so intensely it burns. I pray you finally find it-- the love to call your home, the love to live for, the love who stays. 

This isn't goodbye. This is just me saying, I love you but this isn't going anywhere.  
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