Sunday, February 05, 2017

It was a good day. The sun is up and the wind is strong. The sound of the waves is calming and the sight of the greens is naturally captivating.

I was finding my way back to the car--to find refuge for the cold, when I got distracted by a flock of birds. Enticed by their presence, I chased one after the other. My gullible self got lost in the moment--even went as far as feeding them.

T'was fun. I threw the crumbs and they fed on them. I threw some more and they got closer. It's amazing how you give so little and yet get so much in return. Or how trivial things get through your heart and lit you up. Instantaneously, at that.

When you're happy as a fool, you let it take you over. Because who doesn't want happy? And who, in the right mind, would not welcome happy with open arms?

But more and more pidgeons came. They got closer and closer. And instantaneously as always, my brain switched from blissful to careful. What if they bite? The flock grew so big, it got scaryyyy. What if they attack?

Panic. Hits me slowly and then comes rushing all at once. It's crazyyy. I'm crazyyyy (proven hypothesis in numerous self-designed social experiments hahahaha). So I ruined the moment. And I ran away. Like a wimpy kid, I run. Four out five times, I run.

And I've been running away. Because I think I have the luxury of time. Because I think I'll never run out of chances. Because I have a littany of excuses. But I'm tired of running away. Oh good God, give me something to run towards. And with eyes closed and fears shunned, I shall run towards. It's time. :D

Thursday, August 11, 2016

It's amazing how reminders come to us via the Mundane. Tonight's message was from a song I delightfully stumbled upon in Spotify.

"Love like I'm not scared. 
Give when it's not fair.
Live life for another.
Take time for a brother.
Fight for the weak ones. 
Speak out for freedom.
Find faith in the battle.
Stand tall but above it all.
Fix my eyes on You"

Saturday, May 14, 2016


You have no idea how magnificent your brilliance stand in stark contrast against the rest of my universe. My only regret was that I was too distracted with a handful other irrelevant pursuits that I failed to acknowledge it sooner. 

I look at you and I see all the things we could be. At the same time, all the things we are not. It's unfortunate how something so beautiful can be as sad. 

My heart sings of nothing but good things and happiness for you--- with or without me in it. But for now, I'll keep my distance because the love from my heart radiates so intensely it burns. I pray you finally find it-- the love to call your home, the love to live for, the love who stays. 

This isn't goodbye. This is just me saying, I love you but this isn't going anywhere.  

Saturday, April 09, 2016

Mailap na Ulap

Ulap was my FIFTH. By then I have learned that climbs are never how you expect them to be. Most have been tough but not one tougher than the human spirit (ANO RAW? HAHA). So I packed my bag with zero expectations. With eyes closed and fears shunned, I was ready for anything--the good and the bad.
Ulap was DAUNTING. We were an hour away from Benguet when I found out about it being a 4/9 (Difficulty Level). All my tiny alveoli screamed inside. I barely survived a 3/9. How am I gonna survive a 4/9 with my knee injury?Goodness gracious great balls of fire! But it was too late to hesitate, so I shook the fear off and whispered a sweet psalm to the One Above. Good Weather. Strength. Stamina.

Ulap was TRICKY. You'd be surprised how the trail could transition from Ahjh-friendly to uphill
assaults! My feet, ankles, injured-knees, super-duper-short legs, weak-asthmatic lungs and my frail heart had to work extra haaaard. T'was a good thing that the Eye of God was up and mighty. It was already slippery with the loose soil and tiny rocks. Can you imagine how much difficult the trail would be if it was wet and muddy?

Ulap was BREATHTAKING. The view was surreal. I'm grateful our pack was not pressured with time because you would literally want to just stop and stare. Every-single-where.

I wish to tell you "It was the best climb ever!" but a friend told me it was what I've always been saying after each climb. HAHA. So I'll just tell you that it was the best climb ever YET. But I'm betting my pretty little heart, this favorite will be quite hard to beat at that.

I have grown fond of Beyond Beautiful Benguet (BBB) more than I could ever imagine. It would be a delight to go back for a quick day hike, an overnight camp or a glorious weekend. 'Til next time, Sweetheart. Stay lovely! :)

P.S Would stay away from the sun for now. Konti na lang, kulay lokal ng Benguet na ko. :P

Monday, July 27, 2015

In Search of Light

I haven't been proud of myself recently-- in more ways than one. I have numerous nightmares of words that should have been said and those that shouldn't have been, of things I could've done better and of circumstances I shouldn't have been entangled with. The world has its funny ways of making you feel inadequate-- the kind that kills. Age old wisdom has taught me to be selective with the things I take in from the world and time has taught me to be kind with the words I say to myself and yet it's still a struggle to hush all self-conceived devils, who are equally as stubborn as I. 

So I ran to the One I always run to every time I search for light--- never fails.  :)

"Sovereign in the mountain air. Sovereign on the ocean floor. With me in the calm. With me in the storm. In your everlasting arms, all the pieces of my life. All my hopes. All I need. All my dreams. All my fears. Whatever comes my way, I will trust You."
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